Clothes have a significant impact on how we feel and can influence our psyche in various ways. Whether it’s funeral attire, comfort clothes during a pandemic, or dressing up for a special occasion, what we wear can affect our emotions and how others perceive us. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief are a classic way to define traumatic reactions to bereavement, and the Jewish public has been grappling with these stages in their own unique ways since Oct. 7.
According to Jerusalem social worker and therapist Hadassah Fidler, the effect of clothes on the psyche has been extensively studied. Uniforms, such as football team jerseys, can impact team success and visibility. Fidler explains that what we wear can reflect how we feel and even help us shift our emotions. Retail therapy, putting on new clothes, can give us a sense of renewal and boost our mood.
Clothing serves as a bridge to connect our emotions to the physical world and can communicate information about ourselves to others. Even within the haredi community, subtle cues like the tilt of a man’s hat can convey messages about identity. Our clothing expresses both individuality and solidarity, reflecting our personal and cultural backgrounds.
Since Oct. 7, Israelis have been experiencing collective and individual trauma and grief. While many cultures have specific dress codes for mourning, in Israel, there is no universal code of dress to signal grief. Each person expresses their emotions differently based on their unique timelines of grief and trauma. Wearables like hostage necklaces or slogan T-shirts can signify solidarity with others, but it’s essential not to make assumptions based on someone’s clothing choices.
Grief is a personal journey, and individuals may be at different stages in their healing process post-Oct. 7. Soldiers returning from Gaza may have delayed their grieving process due to their intense focus on their duties, while former hostages and survivors of the Supernova music festival have their own unique experiences. Choosing clothing can be a way for individuals to regain a sense of control in their lives after traumatic events.
In the aftermath of Oct. 7, it’s crucial to be sensitive to the diverse experiences of individuals and communities. The impact of recent events extends beyond personal grief to affect various aspects of society, including the fashion industry, academic institutions, and retailers. As we navigate these challenges, may we find strength and resilience in expressing our pride as Israelis, however we choose to do so through our clothing and actions.