In 1976, the poet Vadim Delone captured the essence of absurdity and incongruity in his famous couplet: "Exchanged a hooligan for Luis Corvalan. Where to find such a b***h, to replace Brezhnev?" Delone, like a true poet, understood the underlying message of this exchange – the absurdity of comparing the red with the fluffy, the heavy with the hot. This unique exchange rate, measured in ideological absurdity per unit of time and space, highlights the surreal nature of the world we live in.
Officially known as a "prisoner exchange," this diplomatic act can only occur if the opposing parties agree on the terms and conditions of the swap. The concept of balance is crucial in such exchanges, as negotiators must assess the value of their prisoners and come to a mutual agreement. The recent Russian-American (and Russian-German) exchange, with a ratio of "8:16" (or one to two), reflects a standard practice in such transactions. However, a closer look at the details of the deal reveals a grotesque twist.
At its core, a prisoner exchange involves citizens of one country who have found themselves in another country, where they have violated the law and been imprisoned. The authorities of both countries discover that they have each other’s citizens in custody and agree to exchange them. However, in the recent Russian exchange, it became apparent that many of the "criminals" on both sides were actually citizens of the same country or closely connected to it. In essence, it was not an exchange but a country trading its own citizens, with one country essentially buying back its own people.
Furthermore, the individuals involved in the exchange varied significantly in terms of their offenses and backgrounds. From hackers to human rights activists, the disparity in the "weight categories" of the prisoners led to an unconventional exchange rate. The juxtaposition of a spy-killer with a political opposition figure highlights the skewed nature of the exchange and raises questions about the true motives behind such deals.
In a free and democratic society, the place of an opposition politician is determined by elections, not by imprisonment. Most of the Russian "criminals" exchanged by the Kremlin could only be incarcerated for actual crimes in a real free world. The Kremlin arrested and held its law-abiding citizens as hostages, exchanging them for real criminals.
As we sit at the negotiating table, we are compelled to ask the Americans: "What is the essence of this exchange? Why are you saving strangers? Why are you saving honest and foreign ‚ours‘? Let us dig into your prisons and find our own Chanyshova or Fadeeva. And exchange them! If there are none, then… Send us your killers, ready to eliminate any enemy of American democracy in Moscow. Just for balance. Let’s make it fair."
Somewhere in the corner, Vadim Delone cannot stop laughing.